The Mets Are (Probably) Not Terrible
By Roger Cormier
I'm not someone inclined to tell others not to panic. I know from experience that if I am freaking the fuck out and someone tells me not to panic I then obtain the knowledge that yet another person exists in this world who does not know what the hell they are talking about. I'm simply going to show you a whole buncha numbers.
1969 2-5
1973 5-2
1986 4-3
1988 4-3
1999 5-2
2000 3-4
2006 6-1
2015 4-3
2016 2-5
2022 5-2
Those are the records of the Met teams who ended up reaching the postseason, after seven games. It indicates that it is really, really, really early in the year. The Pittsburgh Pirates just swept the Red Sox. The Phillies are 1-5. Ask Pennsylvania if anything makes sense right now.
The offense seems fine, except for Esco, which is fine because there are not one but two top prospects that could play his position in Triple-A rarin' to go. That leaves the pitching. The pitching…it's bad so far. Edwin Díaz is missed. Justin Verlander would be nice right about now. Max Scherzer is continuing his October performance. David Peterson and Tylor Megill haven't taken The Leap. Carlos Carrasco's velocity dipped precipitously the other day when he got smacked around by the Brewers. Kodai Senga is the lone bright spot.
So what's the worst case scenario here? Old man Scherzer, Verlander, and Cookie are all done, finito. Teams figure out Senga's ghost fork. Petey and Tylor never evolve. Jose Quintana never throws a pitch in a Met uniform (I almost forgot about him entirely.) To paraphrase arguably the best owner of all-time, seven misfortunes? I'd like to see that! (I would not like to see that.)
Even if more than zero misfortunes occur with the starting rotation, keep in mind Steve Cohen has more money than God, and seems willing to spend it. They also have a top youth at first base (Mark Vientos) and shortstop (Ronny Mauricio), each of whom play positions that are definitely not available for awhile in the majors (no whammy). One or both could fetch a topline starter or two.
I get it: the Carlos Correa thing was weird. That Super Bowl commercial was cool until one of its stars got sidelined for the year. It rained on "Amazin' Day". The home opener was rained out too, and it didn’t even rain. It's too early to pick up a vibe, but if there was one it's…blah. Vibes change pretty fast though. Like after a win or two.
And now, some rejected Midjourney art with other possible titles for this episode as prompts
Brett Pill and the Intractability of the Belt Wars