This week’s episode of Not A Football Podcast is presented by Lane’s Secret. Don’t let your wardrobe slide into Death Valley this week — give it some Juice and open a transfer portal to style. Lane's Secret, proud sponsor of Not A Football Podcast and The Daily Mississippian.
By Jesse Spector
As you can hear if you have the sound up for the video (it’s not really necessary), there were about five minutes left in Alabama-Tennessee when the vomiting, which I brought up on the show, happened.
It’s incredible, and I’m embarrassed that I misidentified Jeremiah Crawford, Tennessee’s left tackle, a 6’5”, 315-pound transfer from Butler (Kan.) CC who had Dallas Turner and Byron Young wondering which circle of Hell they’d just entered.
Obviously I remembered number 75, Jerome Carvin, from the clip because Crawford and Carvin are next to each other, and the motion of tight end Jacob Warren (87) out of the huddle is… you know what, I’m sorry for the mistake, but it really doesn’t matter that much. Alabama lost, and that’s a holiday to college football (even though the Tide still go to the playoff if and when they win out, and Tennessee still has to play Georgia — whatever!).
Meanwhile, Urban Meyer continues to be Urban Meyer, Iowa catches strays without even playing, and Nebraska remains a mysterious and desolate dystopia in search of a sentient sweater vest.
Saturday really was an iconic goalpost teardown, 10/10, no notes. And how is it 10/10? That demands a little mental exercise. What are the 10 elements of a perfect GPTD?
The home team beat a top-10 team.
It was the home team’s first win over the opponent in a long time.
The crowd was big enough that the field rush came from all angles, filling the entire field with a mass of humanity.
The crowd successfully got the goalpost down.
Scenes, either before, after, or during the teardown, of students standing on the crossbar, riding the uprights, etc.
The presence, inside the stadium, of cigars and/or alcohol. (The latter may not seem like a factor, but if someone is popping a drink amid this chaos, it’s because they brought it or procured it to celebrate with it.)
The goalpost was taken out of the stadium.
The goalpost was paraded through campus or whatever area is around the stadium.
The goalpost was heaved by the crowd from some great height, preferably into a body of water.
Nobody got hurt.
Well done, Tennessee. And while we’re sponsored by Lane’s Secret, of course, we’ve also now got Home Sweet Home To Me, which you can find at homesweethometo.me.
Lane's Secret Presents Not A Football Podcast 7: Tenn Out Of Tenn, No Notes