Not A Football Podcast 4: Mr. Gorbachev, Tear Down This Goalpost

By Keelin Billue

This week’s episode of Not A Football Podcast is brought to you by Lane’s Secret. Add some Juice to your wardrobe with looks that will never leave you feeling like you’ve been fired and stranded at the airport. Turn your closet into a transfer portal to style. Lane's Secret.

Also, the coast is clear: we do not talk about Urban Meyer this week! You are safe to proceed.

• Mr. Gorbachev, Tear Down This Goal Post: No. 10 Arkansas lost to Texas A&M in a fantastic, doink-laden Saturday affair, with Razorbacks kicker Cam Little attempting a 42-yard field goal which should’ve at least counted for one point.

Alex Micheletti @AlexMicheletti

Oh my god, Arkansas Field goal attempt to go ahead vs Texas A&M hits the top of the post and stays out, never seen that ever

• 2 Hot 4 Etsy: Jesse has not paid our Willets Pen store fees on Etsy, which is demanding immediate restitution of $0.00 to restore the account. Help him pay his debts by signing up for our newsletter. As soon as we get out of debt, we can work on our bespoke NFL sideline capes.
  

• Is Wake Forest Good?: In a continuation of “ Is [X Team] Good?”, gather ‘round to let us talk about a strange little school (enrollment ca. 5,400) with a mascot that is trying to claw his way out of the uncanny valley and into the college football playoff. But maybe next time after they lost to Clemson.
  

• Okay, but Really Are Florida and Tennessee Good?: Longtime SEC fan Britt is perplexed at a world where Florida and Tennessee could or might be good. The shifting landscape of the SEC is perplexing, but one thing holds true: Alabama and Georgia will remain at the top.
  

• Jesse Wants to Play A Game: Jesse made Britt guess some of the interesting picks in the AP Top 25. Some of these teams include… well, I am not going to reveal them because you should listen and play along, as this game will never happen again.
  

• Lane’s Secret Dot Com: Ole Miss is going to play A REAL GAME next week against no. 7 Kentucky. Will Lane Supremacy continue? Am I going to be canceled for saying “Lane Supremacy?” Join us next week to find out!
  

• Playoffs, Schmayoffs: Folks, there is just not enough room on the boat to the College Football Playoff. So what’s in it for the rest of the teams? They have to take the BIG GUYS (and some goal posts) DOWN?
  

• Sports That Are NOT Football: True to our word, this is not a football podcast.
  

• The Dutch, Australians, and (U.S.) Southerners: Congratulations to the Geelong Cats, champions of the men’s grand final in the Australian Football League. If they wanted to celebrate at Waffle House, how could they do that in Australia? And if, as Britt says, watching Australian football is like hearing someone speak Dutch, what are the implications for the Dutch watchers at Aussie podcast and Yazoo City, Mississippi, advertising firm Boonta Vista?
  

• Jesse Goes Betting on The NFL: Jesse is a huge bettor now. Britt and I helped him pick some teams. I didn't realize Jesse was betting when I suggested the Falcons, but it was purely based on vibes. That’s on him for listening to me though. I think he should also bet on the Colts, but I think he picked my beloved but un-good Titans. Don’t listen to me anymore, Jesse! I beg you! (Our actual NFL Week 4 vibes parlay is Cincinnati -3.5, Kansas City -2, Las Vegas -2, and yes, Atlanta +1.5).

Tune in for Week 5 where Jesse reports back that he lost money, Lane reveals another secret (an L or W), and some hate mail from the Dutch and Australians.

Claire Peacock @Clarabeth

Really want an NFL sideline cape

Thanks for reading and listening! Use code SECRET for 10% off an order at Lane's Secret today!