We Can Pod It Out 4: Ask Me Why

For every hoodie we sell from our shop in the month of December, Willets Pen will donate a winter hat to newly-arrived families in Queens, partnering with State Senator Jessica Ramos, whose district is where the Mets play, and who has been working to help these folks settle into their new lives in New York. They’re having a holiday breakfast in a couple of weeks, so we ordered some winter hats in advance, but we’ll keep the drive going all month, and make sure that we help as many people as we can stay warm in their first NYC winter!

Let Me Quarterback the 49ers

By Roger Cormier

JImmy G(aroppolo) broke his foot on Sunday afternoon against the Dolphins, following in Trey Lance's faulty footsteps (pun intended) in getting himself severely injured. This opened the door for Some Guy, literally Mr. Irrelevant, the last pick in the last round of the NFL Draft, to lead the San Francisco 49ers to victory. And the Dolphins don’t stink.

It's clear that anybody, even a recent teenager with the literal name of Brock Purdy, can run this offense. I would like to suggest that GM John Lynch take a chance…no, there's no risk involved here…and sign me and put me number one in the depth chart. Here are my qualifications:

I have two arms.

I am (probably) taller than Doug Flutie.

I have not bashed the San Francisco 49ers on Twitter or any social media account (as far as I can recall).

I promise to stop betting on 49ers games. (I'm assuming I will make more money in salary.)

I've never played the Meta VR game where you can be an NFL quarterback, but I've heard of it.

I haven't played Madden in years, but you don't forget how to play.

I used to play Tecmo Bowl.

I did not lose the Georgia runoff.

You can save money by not bothering to tape me up beforehand. I don't think I need it.

I can scream "Let's go!" pretty loudly.

I can kneel without making a groaning sound (sometimes).

I can figure out when we can start getting into victory formation.

I won't bother jogging off the field if it's fourth down and fewer than 3 yards. I know we're going for it.

I have my own football.